Under 10
You’re pure chaos energy with zero filter and a talent for saying whatever pops into your head. You probably treat sugar like a main food group and your favorite celebrities are people who yell into gaming microphones. You get distracted by anything shiny, loud, or moving, and somehow everyone finds it kinda cute. You keep life interesting without even trying.
11–13
You’re in that confusing era where you feel grown one minute and completely clueless the next. You talk like you’ve survived major life events, but most of them happened on social media. You care way too much about your hair even though it never does what you want. You’re dramatic in a way that’s lowkey impressive.
14–17
You stay up too late watching shows you claim you don’t even like and spend the next day confused about why you’re exhausted. You think adults have no idea what they’re doing, but you’re starting to realize they might be just like you. You post things and instantly regret them, then do it again anyway. You’re figuring life out in the most chaotic, relatable way possible.
18–24
You’re running on caffeine, panic, and a strange amount of optimism. You try to look unbothered while quietly freaking out about every decision you’ve ever made. You call it your flop era but secretly hope you’re building something real. You’re exhausted, broke, and somehow having the most fun you ever will.
25–34
You’ve hit the stage where plants and kitchen gadgets feel like emotional support items. You scroll Zillow even though you know you can’t afford anything, and you still do it for fun. You swear you might delete social media but never actually do. You’re tired, responsible, and nostalgic for no reason.
35–44
You’ve started measuring time by how much your joints hurt. You plan vacations around sleep and complain about traffic like it’s a personality trait. You have a group chat for memes and another one for complaining about repairs or bills. You know yourself better now and that peace shows.
45–54
You’re calm in a way that only comes from having lived through enough nonsense to recognize what matters. You roll your eyes at new music but still know every lyric from the stuff you love. You tell stories no one believes and you stand by all of them. Your laugh is quieter these days, but it’s also warmer.
55+
You’ve stopped pretending to keep up with the internet and honestly feel better for it. You say exactly what you mean because you earned that freedom. You know which problems are worth your time and which ones can disappear on their own. People exhaust you, but they also make life strangely entertaining.