Toddler (Age 3–5)
You live in full-color feelings. Everything is the best or the worst, and honestly, that kind of clarity is rare. You cry when you need to, snack like it’s a job, and find genuine joy in the smallest things. People may call you dramatic, but you’re just emotionally literate and chronically honest. You don’t need to be less sensitive. You just need rest, snacks, and people who get it.
Preteen (Age 10–12)
You are teetering on the edge of chaos and cosmic awareness. You’re silly, stubborn, and smarter than people think, with a mind full of weird little facts and even weirder ideas. You might still collect things no one else understands, like shiny rocks or oddly specific grudges. Deep down, you want someone to take you seriously without making you grow up. You’re allowed to be both tender and loud.
Teen (Age 14–17)
You are a raw nerve in skinny jeans. There’s a hurricane of thoughts in your head, but every once in a while you say something that makes older people stop and stare like, “Damn. That’s true.” You feel everything too much and still get back up and try again. You don’t fake being okay. You survive out loud. Let yourself be proud of how far you’ve come.
College Kid (Age 18–22)
You are an unstable mix of ambition and identity crisis. One minute you’re planning your five-year trajectory, the next you’re googling “how to become a forest witch with no degree.” You latch onto weird hyperfixations and spin them into late-night philosophies. Beneath it all, you just want to matter in a way that feels real. You don’t have to figure it all out yet. Stay curious.
Young Adult (Age 23–29)
You’re in the beautiful, brutal in-between. You get things done, kind of. You’re haunted by decisions both made and unmade, but still find time to text your friends about the meaning of life and also frogs. You’re doing better than you think. You carry yourself with quiet hope even when everything feels sideways. It’s okay if you’re still becoming the person you’re meant to be.
Middle-Aged (Age 35–49)
You crave peace, efficiency, and group chats that don’t involve 67 unread messages. Your priorities are clear, even if your calendar is not. You’re wise enough to know what doesn’t matter anymore and bold enough to not pretend otherwise. You’ve become the person others rely on, even when you’re running on fumes. You deserve ease. Let yourself stop proving things.
Elder Millennial (Age 50–65)
You are always on the brink of buying a houseplant you’ll forget to water. You keep a running list of people who still don’t understand Wi-Fi, and your favorite thing to say is “I remember when that cost three bucks.” You’re nostalgic, sarcastic, and emotionally over it in a way that feels oddly comforting. People think you’re jaded, but you’re just extremely self-aware. You’re allowed to be soft too.
Ancient Soul (Age 80+)
You’ve felt old since you were nine and somehow it makes you wise. You like your tea hot, your mornings early, and your people emotionally competent. You move through life like you’ve lived it once already and are just back for the vibes. You don’t chase trends or attention. You chase peace. You don’t have to be timeless. Just be true.