Pick an unhinged hill you would absolutely die on:
• Every home should have at least one cozy reading nook.
• Weekends are the perfect time for chores and projects.
• Every town should have a community center.
• Spreadsheets are fun, and more people should use them.
• Late-night gaming sessions are a productive use of time.
• No one should talk to you before you have your coffee. But they also shouldn't talk to you after either.
You’ve just triggered a heart event. What are you doing?
• Sharing a drink behind the saloon and trauma-dumping by moonlight.
• Listening to a record while painting quietly together.
• Fixing a busted radio and arguing about signal strength.
• Building a pillow fort and giggling.
• Hosting a pop-up dance party in the town square.
• Reading poetry and sharing secrets at golden hour.
What haunts you, but in a small, manageable way?
• That pile of unread books you’re definitely getting to.
• The fear you’ll never actually complete the projects you start.
• The weird energy in group chats when someone sends a voice note.
• That time you waved back at someone who wasn’t waving at you.
• Your ongoing struggle with routine and self-discipline.
You’ve discovered Mayor Lewis’s shorts in Marnie’s bedroom. What do you do?
• Quietly return them and never speak of this again.
• Write “found them :)” on a note and leave it under his doormat (without the shorts).
• Turn them in at the Luau to watch the Mayor's world burn.
• Gossip about it with the traveling cart merchant.
• Stick them in a chest and forget about them for three seasons.
How do you tend to show affection?
• Cooking something specific just for them.
• Fixing or improving something in their space without being asked.
• Inviting them on weird little adventures.
• Making them something beautiful with your hands.
• Sitting quietly with them and listening to them talk.
What’s your most toxic farm layout habit?
• Letting weeds take over because you’re a Junimo at heart.
• Hoarding kegs and jamming every tile with machines.
• Prioritizing aesthetics over productivity.
• Designing perfect symmetry and getting mad when it’s ruined.
• Planting 400 parsnips and immediately burning out.
An NPC confesses they wrote you a poem. It’s… not good. What’s your honest reaction?
• Say thank you and cherish it forever.
• Offer to workshop it together, gently.
• Read it in a dramatic voice until they laugh.
• Frame it unironically, then write them an even worse poem.
• Panic and pretend you’re getting an important call from Ghost Grandpa.
What kind of love do you think you’re built for?
• Steady, predictable, and low-drama.
• Passionate and intense, even if it hurts sometimes.
• Fun, weird, and a little chaotic.
• Quiet and soft, mostly spent in shared silence.
• Supportive but deeply independent.
A rival farmer flirts with your crush at Spirit’s Eve. What do you do?
• Charm your way in with a well-timed joke.
• Wait it out. You’ve got history, and they know it.
• Find your crush after and walk them home.
• Get a little petty, but keep it cute.
• Break out the slingshot. You’ve got explosive ammo.
When you look at Harvey’s magnificent mustache, what feelings stir within you?
• Mmm, what’s it going to take to get a ride on that thing?
• Wonder how much wax it takes to keep it that shiny.
• Who’s Harvey?
• Briefly ponder what it smells like, then feel weird about pondering.
• Decide to grow an even more glorious mustache yourself.
You wake up and your real-life TV says the spirits are “very happy” today. What do you do?
• Buy a scratch-off, win a hundred bucks, deep-clean the kitchen.
• Smash a personal record at the gym before breakfast.
• Send that risky text you’ve been thinking about. Time to shoot your shot!
• Take a solo road trip with a killer playlist and no destination.
• Declare “treat-yourself day” and paint the town red.
If you were a Stardew NPC, what real-world gift would make your day?
• A really nice pen you’d never buy for yourself.
• A kitchen gadget that solves one very specific problem.
• A hoodie from a random thrift store that fits perfectly.
• A fancy candle with a scent called something like “Library Ghost.”
• A little envelope of cash and a note that says “Buy yourself something nice.”
• A picnic in a secluded forest with good snacks and zero pressure.
People tend to come to you for:
• A calm plan when everything’s on fire.
• A hype speech that gets them moving.
• A safe, silent space to vent without judgment.
• A burst of creative chaos to shake things up.
• A brutally honest take that will get their head on straight.
• A fun hang. Not everything is about fixing problems.
What do you love most about playing Stardew Valley?
• Checking off cozy tasks until your brain purrs.
• Escaping the chaos of everyday life into a world where everything always ends up okay.
• Turning an empty field into something both profitable and pretty.
• Living out your fantasy of romancing an entire small town, obviously.
• Feeling rewarded for achieving small, manageable goals.
• Writing your own quiet story with chill background music.